2013, 2014, Cheap Travel in India, Chief Minister (Governor) Selvi J. Jayalalithaa., Foreign in India, India and public health, Indian government incompetence, Madurai, Travel in India, Travel in Tamil Nadu, Unromanticized travel, White in India

Rich, White and Foreign in India

Rich, White and Foreign in India.

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2013, 2014, Cheap Travel in India, Chief Minister (Governor) Selvi J. Jayalalithaa., Foreign in India, Indan press incompetence, India and public health, Indian government incompetence, Madurai, Photos from South India, The Ordinary in India, Travel in India, Travel in Tamil Nadu, Unromanticized travel, White in India

Rich, White and Foreign in India

March 21-22 2014, MADURAI

I plan my walks from Google Maps. I scrutinize satellite images for narrow lanes, rail lines, a river or sewage canal—the cramped streets where small houses touch.

The better-off in all Indian cities live invisibly behind high walls. In the crowded neighborhoods, doors are open in the morning from small rooms. Life spills into the streets. Roosters crow. Carts rumble. A woman hacks her throat clear. The milk man calls from his bicycle.

It’s a stumbling walk each morning into streets that touch ancestral memory,

Women make their trip to the neighborhood pump with 20-liter plastic jugs in red or purple or white or stripes, men sit on the ledge outside their door and read the newspaper and smoke. A man brushes his teeth on his top step and spits into the sewer gutter. A woman squats to pee by the tracks. Kids in blue/white or red/brown or grey/white school uniforms appear. It is respectable to come out pressed and shiny. In the poorest streets, they are barefoot, and the uniforms are hand-me-downs.

Ellis Nagar, Madurai

Ellis Nagar, Madurai

Raw sewage, moving slowly in dirt or concrete channels, is never far away. The air smells of it and of the urine on walls and smoke from wood grills and garbage fires and tea shops and incense a woman is wafting beneath the encrusted tail of a brown cow that has been painted with bright hand prints and devils. The air is never fresh.

Pools of sewage are close to homes

Pools of sewage are close to homes

Inside a door this morning, a uniformed girl sat on the floor while her grandmother fixed her hair. At another house a sour-looking laborer scrubbed his sudsed, wiggling little boy on a slab by the door and gave him a smack to improve his cooperation. In a deep ditch between two walls, half covered by a plastic trash bag,  a white dog was dying, shaking, eyes closed, whimpering to herself like an abused child. Just past a stand of rickshaws,  a huge man blocked my path and said in a small voice, “What is your sweet name, please?” Three huge hogs round a house corner just in front of me to root in garbage. A dog runs at me snarling.

India has millions of tiny shops. In the neighborhoods they are little groceries, corner idli and vada shops, tea stands. The grocery stalls have detergent, water, pop, festoons of packaged crunchy snacks, cigarettes sold individually and jars of penny candy. Children run to them on errands.

Women stop to talk. Men buy a tiny cup of steaming tea and eat a quick breakfast for 20 rupees. A cow or two, some goats, are tied nearby or saunter by. Dogs lounge indolently. Rickshaws cluster. The reek of sewage rises from the ditch. Vegetable vendors have their mats spread and the tomatoes and peppers or coconuts displayed. The fruit carts appear. Conversation is everywhere, laughter, the chain-saw tuk-tuk-tuk and horn blare of rickshaws, clucking chickens and a too-loud radio from a doorway.

The vegetables and bright fruits and the saris and the pink and orange walls give color to the shabby steet. Women make the wide-legged peasant bend and draw the day’s rangoli on the lane before the door. Municipal cleaners rake garbage into piles for burning, or to be taken away in carts for burning. A little boy of three defecates in the dirt 10 feet from his doorway, bending his head to watch the progress. Old women and men sit on the pavement or on age-blackened steps, staring at nothing. Escape seems unlikely.

These streets are not much visited by outsiders. I have never seen a Western tourist in them, and official India, including the limp-wristed press, ignores them.

I create a stir as I walk, much as I did snorkeling beyond the reef in the Red Sea, where the fish patterns would dissolve as I approached. It is not hostile, but it is watchful and wary.

I have learned this slowly. The shadow at the door is a woman watching, there an old man, the three men at the tea stand, the woman on the balcony, the man in the grocery stall.

I am closely watched.

They watch, but their first inclination is friendly.

Ellis Nagar, Madurai, March 2014

Ellis Nagar, Madurai, March 2014

Live in Indian hotels, as I have for months, and it’s difficult not to conclude that most Indians are listless, heedless and unresourceful. Such are India’s middle managers and company reps, those who people the hotel world.

In the neighborhoods, however, people, speaking large, are more generous to a stranger.  They have the grace politeness confers; their deference is sincere.

Of India’s many curses of self-indulgence, deference to  foreign, deference to rich and deference to white rank high, close to corruption.

It may be that the powerless are deferential, polite with a thin Potemkin politeness, because they have learned their lot is to be subordinate. Yet in these raggedy streets “they” are not uniformly anything. The weasels are easy to spot, as they are anywhere, the clean and the dirty, the quick to smile and the pimps (for here is where you go if you are looking for sex, whatever your awful predeliction), the stalwart and the respected.

Most return my namaskar greeting, the hands together in front of the chest in the Indian equivalent of “salaam alaikem.” Boys of 8 or 9 run up and say, “Hello how are you I am fine.”

My nationality is important because it confirms I’m from away, where conditions are better.  I say “USA” or  “America,” and they approve, “Ah.” But I have been German and French and Italian and even English, and they said “Ah” in exactly the same way.

No one objects to my presence, and when I stop, seeing a face or texture , I’m quickly hemmed in and pawed by the kids, who call, “Photo, photo,” so I will take their picture. One mother points to another, saying I must take her. Honor her, she says. Grandmothers appear with infants. I shoot, smilingly and pompously dispensing beneficence, as deference insists I must.

My camera has a good view screen. I punch up the shots I just took of the baby, the mother and all the kids, and the kids next door, and I can zoom in on a face and give that person a pat. They crowd in to see under the shade of my hand. No one asks for money.

They look to recognize themselves, and then they smile and thank me, “Super!” I give the little girl who’s pulling too hard on the camera a light smack and say, “Hold on,” for it seems that’s the right thing to do. I give the grandmother’s shoulder a squeeze. Touching seems the right thing to do, for men and women, boys and girls. I shake hands and give half hugs and squeezes and pats. I bask in Tahitian smiles. As I walk on, trailed to lane’s end by 10 or 12 small kids, I’m Pied Piper. One always asks for my pen; all of them are excited. The teenagers we pass are blase.

"Photo, photo"

“Photo, photo”

Celebrity politicians may pass through once every few years in a motorcade, and great seers come to town, but I am the most rare Important Visitor. I take notice. I walk the bustee lanes and speak as I can to individuals and hug pretty little girls and joke with teenage boys and say “Oooh” at babies and shake my finger at a barking dog just as they do, and jump the same streams of sewage.

I speculate, that is, that unfair though it is, I have influence by birth and circumstance somehow to encourage a neighborhood’s prettiest face, as a teacher can  lift shy students, as a priest can bless a life.

My presence and photographs of generations of family and neighbors, all the happy kids—dim images on a view screen in bright sunlight—affirm I think that I have noticed and may remember.

South Madurai bustee, March 22, 2014, about 8 a.m.

South Madurai bustee, March 22, 2014, about 8 a.m.

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2013, 2014, Bad hotel, Cheap Travel in India, Indian bathrooms and showers, Rameshwarum, Shooting midgets, Travel in India, Travel in Tamil Nadu, Unromanticized travel

The Shower Conundrum (or: The Inexplicable Shooting of a Midget)

The Shower Conundrum (or: The Inexplicable Shooting of a Midget).

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2013, 2014, Cheap Travel in India, Indian bathrooms and showers, Indian Hotels, Rameshwarum, Travel in India, Travel in Tamil Nadu, Unromanticized travel

The Shower Conundrum (or: The Inexplicable Shooting of a Midget)

Early March, 2014, RAMESHWARUM, Tamil Nadu

It had been a grueling 180 kilometer trip in a horn-tooting auto-rickshaw from Tuticorin to Pambam Island and Rameshwaram. When I arrived in late afternoon the temple town’s slippery lanes were teeming  with sober pilgrims to the 12th century Ramanathaswamy Temple. It is a commercialized memorial to Lord Rama’s attempt to rescue his wife Sita from the evil Ravanai.

Sri Lanka lies  just a few miles to the east.

The first four hotels I tried were dingy and  full. The general manager of the last called me back as I was leaving and with an air of magnanimity made an offer: a “suit” for 3,800 rupees, a staggering $61. It was a suite because it had an unlighted ante-room with a conference table. In the bedroom, two emperor-sized beds had been pushed together, creating mattress space but little roll room for at least eight chaste pilgrims. The bathroom was the normal bathroom for a single room.

I went next door to the Rama Palace, a two-story building set in a well-tended compound with much of the trash and garbage thrown over the wall.

Prabakaran, the 22-year-old co-manager and a graduate of a regional college for hotel administrators, showed me room 105. The sheets were short but looked clean, I would have doors both to the lobby and to the driveway and windows that opened. The uneven curtains were undecided whether to be raw or burnt umber, with decorative swirls. The walls were prison green, and just beyond the foot of the bed finger streaks at about four feet fell toward the floor where a midget had been shot. The shelves had an empty Fanta bottle with dead ants, a newspaper page dating to the previous fall and a bent plastic flower. I saw nothing moving.

The bathroom was across the lobby through an unmarked door: the cold-water shower was in the first stall, an old-style squat toilet was in the second, partially blocked by an overturned plastic bucket and a stiff mop.

“The toilet!” Prabakaran said with a flourish.

It all went for 600.

Prabakaran’s co-manager, a handsome but glum one-legged man I immediately thought of as Golm, sneered, though it made no sense. He swung away with his one crutch to the lobby sofa and stretched out facing the wall.

“What happened to your leg,” I asked him later, when he was sitting up.

“Bad man!” He glared.

I was unsure whether he meant me, for asking, or someone who had cut his leg off for some reason. He seemed healed, but maybe the memories were fresh.

The next morning the ancient city and temple called. I found my knees still worked for the squat toilet, then moved to the dim shower stall. I had the tiny bar of hotel soap, my shampoo, my finger-nail brush and my bath puffy in a plastic bag.

I had walked through  the unusually demented traffic of Rameshwarum the evening before in bayou heat but had fallen into bed unwashed except for water from the wall spigot I splashed on my head and feet. I had considered a shower, but the stall was daunting in the twilight, and I was tired. Now, I was sticky.  I needed a long, soaking shower without touching the wall.

I stripped, put my glasses in the pocket of my shorts on the door handle, balanced my puffy atop my purple soap dish, placed my green plastic bottle of Reebonn shampoo for dry and damaged hair in a cleanish spot on the dry and damaged floor and reached for the faucet.

The handle seemed to be missing. I squinted close. Yes, there was no handle.

The shower would not work

The shower would not work

No problem. It had likely fallen off and rolled to a darker corner of the stall or was outside in the larger stall behind one of the plastic buckets or the tipped-over plastic bottles on the shelf or under the wrapper from a bar of soap. Maybe even in the squat room.

I found my glasses, but the handle was gone. I had hopes for the small dark pile of this and that by the old mop. It wasn’t there.

I showered the traditional way, pouring water from the bucket over my head.

“So, the shower?” I said to Prabakaran when he appeared. I hadn’t awakened Golm, who was asleep on the floor. He was the weaker administrator of the two.

Prabakaran frowned, puzzled. Shower?

“Yes, I said. “No handle.” I motioned as though turning on a shower, indicating with fluttering fingers the water falling in the morning light on my dry and damaged head. I pantomimed finding the handle missing. My disappointment and surprise.

He had known the word “shower” yesterday. He had pointed at it and said “shower.”

He was reluctant, but I led him to the toilet room and pointed into the shower cubicle. The faucet handle was still missing.

He cocked his head and looked at me with suspicion. One day, and I had broken his shower. First minutes on the job, and he had to deal with this!

“Yes,” he said, wagging his head. “Plumber. Plumber come.” That meant the problem was solved. He turned to return to his chair by the front door.

“This hotel?” I asked politely, pointing toward the rooms I could see beyond the atrium balcony upstairs. I would appeal to his professionalism. “Pay 600 rupees. Shower broken!” I opened my arms dramatically as though it had exploded. “Want shower! Shower handle.”

“Plumber, “ he repeated. He frowned. Why was I so obstinate?

No, I said, forgoing the measured language of diplomacy. You don’t need a plumber. Give me a pair of  pliers. That will suffice. I imitated using pliers on the de-handled shower stub and celebrated the flow of water.

He grimaced, wrinkled his nose and moued at my pliers. He didn’t understand. It was too technical.

I had been too fast and overly poetic. I pinched my fingers on the grooved stub where the handle should be and tried to turn it. It wouldn’t turn.  I urged Prabakaran to try. He didn’t want to. I pretended I had a pair of long-handled pliers. I turned the stub. Water fell from the shower head. I made sounds of water.

Prabakaran denied pliers. “Plies?” he said, making a sound like a housefly.

He was getting uncomfortable. He had missed the nuance, but he understood I didn’t like the shower. I had paid 600 rupees, nearly $10, for the room. He had promised a toilet and a shower, and it was becoming clear the shower without water wouldn’t satisfy me. He was unacquainted with pliers, yet he knew my complaint was valid. It was a conundrum.

He made a full pirouette. The solution came to him. I saw it at once in his eyes.

He gestured commandingly and led me to room 107, adjacent to my toilet room. Room 107 was the hotel’s Chief Ministerial room, with two triple-size beds pushed together, a bureau, a tiny TV dating from 1969 and an attached toilet. It was the 1,000 rupee room.

He led me in. The bathroom was unbuffed since the last visitor, with coiled black noodles in the sink drain. The flush toilet’s bottom-cleaning hose was lying on the floor, leaking. The mirror had been sneezed on. There was a small dollop of brown stuff on the floor near the toilet, but the room had a shower with a faucet handle

“Lovely,” I said.

“Use shower,” he said, pointing. A small, soft-looking piece of yellow soap was waiting for me in the soap dish.

I tried the handle. It worked. Water dribbled out through the partially clogged shower head.

“And toilet,” I said, pointing and applauding like Richard Simmons. It needed a brushing, but so did the squat toilet. I tried the bottom-washing hose. It wasn’t good. The water jet was weak, but it would probably work for the brown stuff on the floor. Anyway, I had flip-flops.

“Shower,” he said firmly. He seemed displeased that I might use the deluxe toilet as well as the shower and take advantage of his good nature.

“Yes!” I said. “Good job. Shower toilet. Will use. Plumber come!” I was pleased.

He made the decision. “No problem,” he said.

He resumed his administrator’s chair by the front door. The shower complaint had been resolved in only five minutes. This was how to run a hotel!

Golm, who had gotten up and moved to the couch, didn’t agree. He wiggled unhappily and turned again toward the wall, breathing a long, exasperated sigh.  Later, he removed the bar of hotel soap I had thoughtlessly left in the 1,000 rupee soap dish.

Prabakaran (l) and Golm (caught in a rare smile), co-managers of the Rama Palace in Rameshwarum

Prabakaran (l) and Golm (caught in a rare smile), co-managers of the Rama Palace in Rameshwarum

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2013, 2014, Cheap Travel in India, Kerala travel, Photos from South India, Tenkasi, Tirunelveli, Travel in India, Travel in Tamil Nadu, Uncategorized, Unromanticized travel, Varkala

South Indian images, 2014

Varkala paddy at sunrise

Varkala paddy at sunrise; Photo, John Briggs

Yes?

Tirunelveli, Feb. 2014; Photo,  John Briggs

Tenkasi street

Tenkasi street; Photo,  John Briggs

Near the train station, Tiruneveli, Feb. 2014

Near the train station, Tirunelveli, Feb. 2014; Photo,  John Briggs

 

Near Vakala, Feb. 2014; Photo, John Briggs

Near Vakala, Feb. 2014; Photo, John Briggs

 

Tiruneveli street

Tirunelveli Street; Photo, John Briggs

Tenkasi, Feb. 2014

Tenkasi, Feb. 2014; Photo, John Briggs

Tenkasi girl

Tenkasi, Feb. 2014; Photo, John Briggs

Tenkasi

Tenkasi, Feb. 2014; Photo, John Briggs

Magenta woman, Tenkasi

Magenta woman, Tenkasi; Photo, John Briggs

Fishmerman near Varkala

Fishmerman near Varkala; Photo, John Briggs

Conclave in Ft. Kochi

Conclave in Ft. Kochi; Photo, John Briggs

Tiruneveli ditch-digger

Tirunelveli construction worker; Photo, John Briggs

Waiting for a bus

Waiting for a bus, Tirunelveli; Photo, John Briggs

Wary
Stranger, Tirunelveli, Feb. 2014; Photo, John Briggs

Tenkasi leaf bundler

Tenkasi leaf bundler; Photo, John Briggs

River neighborhood, Tiruneveli

River neighborhood, Tirunelveli; Photo, John Briggs

Tiruneveli fish marketTirunelveli fish market; Photo, John Briggs

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2013, 2014, Cheap Travel in India, Chief Minister (Governor) Selvi J. Jayalalithaa., Indian filth, Indifferent Indian government, Lack of toilets, Shitting by the road, Tiruneveli, Travel in India, Travel in Tamil Nadu

Shit

Shit.

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2013, 2014, Cheap Travel in India, Chief Minister (Governor) Selvi J. Jayalalithaa., Indifferent Indian government, Lack of toilets, Tirunelveli, Travel in India, Travel in Tamil Nadu, Unromanticized travel

Feb. 25, 2014, TIRUNELVELI

Disgust may be a facile response to small, soft, diarrheic piles of human excrement which line Indian streets in lieu of flowers or neatly painted fences, but that is so because the disgust has no certain target.

I walked this morning north along the Thamirabarami River, the narrow, shallow, filthy stream which flows sluggishly north and separates Tirunelveli from  Palayamkottai to the east.

Each morning the families who live in adjoining slums walk sleepily to the riverbanks to bathe and brush their teeth and wash clothes by smacking them, soapless, against river rocks and to shit and piss.

Small boys dive into the water, the women with their wash in plastic buckets that once held paint or solvent stand waist-deep in the water and visit, and a man who has just risen uncleaned from his morning squat beside the river road stops a foreign visitor and urges him to take a photo of his “super” young son. A Westerner’s taught avoidance of social objectivity makes it hard to know whether to recall  the man’s toilet habits or his pride in his son.

Thousands in Tiruneveli use the polluted Thamirabarmai River as their toilet and washroom

Thousands in Tirunelveli use the polluted Thamirabarmai River as their toilet and washroom

India’s is a disingenuous squalor. It is pervasive, but it is unseen and unaddressed.

I have been displeased in my hotel because the wifi is unreliable and the staff talk loudly in the hallway outside my door and the guest in the next room shouts on his mobile with the door open and the TV volume raised to a scream. Still, I have a shower, bottled water, sheets which may have been washed with soap, and a flush toilet. I live in relative luxury. It feels petty when I walk out to fault those who live as they must.

Those shitting beside the roads and tracks and river have no alternative. A toilet can be found in the deluxe waiting room at the train station, but it costs 40 rupees. Some expensive restaurants have a washroom with a toilet, but the great majority here can’t afford the entrance price. Otherwise, public toilets are not to be found and the out-houses I recall from my childhood haven’t been invented.

Road shit

Road shit

The Tirunelveli municipality, as is true of every municipality in India, has provided no toilets (or much of anything else), and in the months I have been wandering through south India, reading The Hindu or the laughably incoherent Indian Express with my morning coffee, I have seen no mention in the papers or on TV of toilets or shit-lined streets or roadside pissers. It’s also fair to note that if toilets were available, porcelain basins in which to defecate, the waste, given the government’s lack of interest, would simply flow out with a flush into the sewage canals and then into the river.

Pissing by a busy street, Tiruneveli

Pissing by a busy street, Tirunelveli

As I picked my way along the broken asphalt of the river road this morning, I made a prissy mental note that aside from the soft brown piles, litter adds to the unsightliness. The city sends out unsupervised workers with barrows, but they miss most streets and most of the trash, and it has become deep over the years—old paper and plastic bags and cigarette packs, a twisted shoe, discarded building materials, a rusted ambulance with flat tires, a radiator hose, or, yesterday, a dead dog with an expression of amused contempt on its maggot-covered face.

A public road, Tireuneveli

A public road, Tirunelveli

I fault the state, but it is countless individuals who routinely throw their trash in the street, and piss there, and spit and shit there. As one who travels nearly as a mute—I have not met a single person in Tamil Nadu who can hold even a simple conversation in English, though English is the country’s lingua franca—I am unable to raise the subject, and I’m doubtful that if I could speak,  my questions would even be understood.

During my weeks on the back roads of Tamil Nadu, I’ve developed a deep contempt for my easy scapegoat, Chief Minister  (Governor) Selvi J. Jayalalithaa. She is a longtime party hack familiarly called “Jaya” by the papers. Her face on peeling posters is ubiquitous. Her government Web page is a chest-thumping list of her accomplishments in winning elections with no mention of toilets.

I presume, maybe wrongly, that if if I made my way through her sycophantic retinue and gained an audience, she would frown at my discourtesy in raising such a stinky subject and tell me that programs are being instituted quite soon now to be dealing with litter and protocol for public health. My guess is  she has a toilet in her mansion.

I hear voices from home saying, “So why go there, if you dislike it so much?” I say that at times to myself. I feel, too, that mere complaint is useless, until I step in a pile.

My impulse is to look away from the mire that is India. Disgust is not easily communicable, as our national inclination to go to war demonstrates. Euphemism is the easy resort of the propagandist.

We turn away from the screams and torn bodies of war or from close observation of predatory financiers and dress up the ugliness with medals, Sousa marches and Chamber of Commerce scrolls, making it all sound rather fine.

India shields itself from the grotesque with ad words like “exotic” or “picturesque” and posters of pretty women in pretty saris. It works. The country draws busloads of uncritical tourists.

Even so, bathing in sewage has an effect on real people. Misery deserves notice.

 Tiruneveli

Tirunelveli

Shit

Aside
2014, A good hotel, Cheap Travel in India, Hotel bugs, Tenkasi, Travel in India, Travel in Tamil Nadu

Tenkasi Goodbye

It’s 4 p.m., Feb. 17, and the Tenkasi swelter, Florida in August, is beginning to slip away. I’m at the built-in desk in my room at the Krishna Tourist Home with the lights off and the ceiling fan at its highest speed, scratching.

ImageRoom 110

I’m being bitten, usually by small black things, flea-size, but “soft,” an entomologist might say, and tiny brown ants which are country cousins of those at Kappil. Other things too, I think. My feet begin to burn. I look down. There’s nothing on them! Am I going mad?

It’s much worse at night, even slathered with repellant—a  polite American repellant which makes suburban gestures Indian bugs find amusing.

I want something which kills them when they peek over the window sill or crawl up out of the mattress, or in under the door, wherever they come from. BLAM! SPLAT!

As it is, I wake up bleary after a night of scratching lying in pools of my blood…

It’s not my dirt that draws them, I think. I’ve been taking three and four showers a day.

I believe it’s the hotel’s ambience.

Immediately below my window is a blackened concrete space between this building and the next. It seems to be the back door to the hotel’s kitchen or maybe it’s a foundry. I don’t know what it is. I see a heavily-stained iron cauldron and an elephant-sized cistern.

A dark-skinned man with a moustache just emerged, saw me peering down from behind my safety grate and gave me a happy wave. I’ve seen him in the morning, washing up and spitting. Whoever he is, he’s my closest neighbor and far from the worst I’ve had. I don’t like his throat-clearing hacking, but he’s usually quiet and keeps his radio low.

Twice a night, from beyond the courtyard, someone, a punk drummer who’s found what he was looking for, bangs a hammer on resonant metal, as though dislodging crumbs or unmelted metal chunks, loud enough to unman a meditator. It usually accompanies the evening call to prayer. For four or five minutes. Twice.

Men sit in the lobby downstairs reading the newspaper. They don’t talk. They don’t look up.

My bathroom “closet” (that’s the term used here as well for the booth at the cyber cafe) is a long, dark rectangle with a drain in the floor I had to scrape open. The hotel has provided a plastic stool and tub, both blue, with scratches, which have inspired me to alter my shower habit of many years and sit on the stool with my feet in the plastic tub humming old jazz tunes while the water drizzles down.

I need to soak the dirt off my feet, of course, but the foot-soak-sitting-shower has inspired me to breathe deeply, nearly ritualistically, and I feel cleaner inside.

Note: Am I acquiring Eastern habits that will be annoying to easy-going Midwesterners?

And I use the tub for clothes. I haven’t sent anything out for months. Clothes given to the hotel man and by him to some hidden laundry come back beautifully folded and clean-smelling but beaten thin. Doing it myself saves money, is an easy demonstration of sturdy self-reliance, and keeps me independent of the unreliable laundries, which miss deadlines too damn often, freeing me to flee at any moment with all my clothes.

I use a one-rupee packet of Tide. That’s kept my T-shirts and shorts sunshine fresh. I let the clothes soak for a half-hour or so, slosh them for a minute, rinse them two or three times, wring them out well and, in this hotel, hang them on my curtain rod above the courtyard with its deep, wide, dark, mostly-covered cistern. They dry in a few hours. If they are picking up courtyard accents, I haven’t noticed it. But I wouldn’t.  A half hour outside, and the shirt is dripping sweat.

Within, on a two-inch pedestral beyond the shower, is a serviceable Western toilet  with a handy bottom-cleaner hose nearby instead of toilet paper. That’s as awkward initially as eating with your hand, your right hand, always, because you clean yourself on the toilet with the hose and your left hand, or, if you are without a hose, with water from a plastic cup splashed around with your left hand.

(At such moments, my background at the Kinsey Institute combines with these toilet insights and I understand the widespread condemnation of oral sex and finger food by traditionalists, some even in our own bottom-splashing hinterlands.)

With practice, however, I’ve concluded  the hose approach is superior to ours.  Paper!  Disgusting!

Eating with the right hand only, though, is difficult to remember, like calling that bozo in City Hall Mr. Mayor.

Stretching alongside the hotel and back toward the river is a 30-yard strip of garbage which is a convenient urinal for every man without a toilet within reach, which means most men here.

Krishna Home, as it’s known locally, is buggy and stained, yet despite such blemishes—the smell, the heat, the black cauldrons, the bugs, the peeing public, the rubbery, green lizard four inches long which dropped last night from the ceiling onto the desk just beside my left hand—this  hotel is the best I’ve stayed in on this trip.

And cheap. I’ll have spent 6 days here for $53.

Krishna must be experienced in context. It’s relatively clean, the staff are alert, and though no one speaks English, I really haven’t had much to say.

Some hotel restaurants here are dark and unhelpful. The Krishna’s is dark and friendly. The waiter, with just a half menu of English words, having seen me struggle with some entrees, has made thoughtful recommendations.

The restaurant is more expensive than it should be in a town this small, but this is a respectable hotel, and the restaurant, though it has uncovered formica tables and unhappy lights, is as well. My fellow diners are all unwealthy middle-class Indians. They don’t speak with each other, and they’re made a bit uneasy by surroundings more formal than at home, but they’re decorous. The restaurant staff are nice to them and have been helpful to me, trying to understand what I want.

They have labored, for instance, to serve coffee I can drink. Initially, they brought me a large cup of hot milk with about three tablespoons of coffee in a stainless-steel bowl. It was an odd presentation. They thought it odd, I suppose, that I wanted so much milk, but they served it politely.

Then the elderly bus-boy took charge. He understood what I wanted and  brought a big cup of coffee and a big cup of milk. I applauded him. He was happy. I was happy.

Yesterday, after several days of coffee ease while reading The Hindu, the bus-boy was reminded of his station, and the waiters took charge again. They brought a big cup of hot water, a big cup of milk and the tiny stainless-steel bowl with its swallow of coffee.

What the hell! I put the coffee in the water, added milk, and it wasn’t bad.

It may be that their coffee is as hashish is to dope—a refined and enhanced brew.

Note: I must be more trusting and open.

But I’ve been content here, bottom line, as the salesman says, because Krishna Home is a good hotel. It approximates a home, shabby in this case, but warm, with many servants, and it tries to provide what I want. Otherwise, they leave me alone.

It’s been a good place for writing and for reading, and whenever I step out, the man at the desk is polite and the guard outside, a wildly combed army veteran, snaps to attention and salutes. He does that for everyone, but for a moment I’m back in NATO’s CENTAG and I return the salute. The years disappear. Paris beckons.

Unusual odors waft in with the evening breeze here. I prefer them to the canned corporate smell of home.

And outside, Tenkasi has been interesting to me, and nice. I’ve walked miles looking into the doorways of tiny side-by-side huts in the early morning, a room occupied by a family. Down alleys and lanes that lead on to more and more, with women at the water pumps filling jugs and bright saris and houses of pink and blue and orange and cows in the street and rangoli house-blessing symbols drawn with rice powder.

House blessing

Rangoli ritual

Saturday morning, on the east side, I turned down the lane of Ajis Saif. He stopped washing his motorcycle to welcome me to Tenkasi. He insisted I sit down and have a cup of tea, and he introduced his children. He said, I believe, that he wanted my memories to be sweet.

Ajis Saif, Tenkasi Ajis Saif

Last night I stopped a man who looked like my late Uncle Bruce and asked for help. He led me to a pharmacy and then insisted on paying for my aspirin and Apollo Soft Tissues. “It is nothing,” he said, and exited stage right cleanly.

This morning, at my cyber shop, Raj Net, the young lady clerk came back to my tiny closet to say hello again with a big smile and ask if I have children and to invite me to her place in Tirunelveli. She had virtually no English, so I may have misunderstood that an attractive 20-year-old was hitting on me, but anyway the phone rang up front and I didn’t see her again. “Women of Tenkasi!” I wrote in my notebook with a smiley face. Such notes become cryptic after a day or two.

It’s been over 90 every day with a heavy sun, the bugs in my room are daunting, the garbage stinks, the sewers are open, the streets are bordered by dust and rubble, I haven’t had a conversation since Varkala, and the traffic is as dangerous here as anywhere I’ve been except Endeva, near Kappil, but I felt sad this afternoon when I decided to move on. Tenkasi has good vibes.

Tenkasi

Tenkasi

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2013, 2014, Cheap Travel in India, Full body massage, Kappil Beach, Kerala travel, Stephen King, Travel in India, Varkala

Very Sex I am thinking. So Then? Bad Sun

Just across the backwater in front of my house, the one house that comprises the Oasis Resort nestles or lurks, depending on the moon, in a grove of thin trees on Kappil Beach. I have seen lanterns and occasional shadowy figures there, but the place is usually empty.

The bar is a wooden table set crookedly under a tree. It is the kind of place you pass without slowing on a back road in south Georgia.

Image  Mr. Showkas, prop. Oasis Resort

Yesterday afternoon as I walked by, the Oasis owner stepped out of the trees and invited me in to see the place.

I learned later from a neighbor that he is Showkas, a fisherman, and has a checkered reputation locally, though he may have reformed a bit as he’s gotten older. “A robber,” my neighbor said, sniffing in disapproval like a Dickensian housekeeper, “of coconuts. His son and daughter are the same.”

A family of coconut thieves? But they thump when they fall. Maybe that’s why he was unsuccessful. And the kids learned nothing?

It wasn’t clear what other faults had burdened him or how he has patched them. He built the house himself, I was told, on land he doesn’t own and the authorities, if they ever stir themselves, may evict him. He has no money for bribes.

In person, he was genial, a white-haired burly man of about 60, balding, shirtless, wearing only a dhoti, the short wrap-around skirt worn here by workers and by men at leisure. “From where you are?” he said, gesturing me to a bench. It is the first and often the only question Indians ask of foreigners.

He wanted me to spread the word in Varkala that he has a room for rent. Cheap. In a “natural” setting, he said, though he didn’t explain why he figured I’d act as his shill.

He was disjointed in his presentation. He fiddled with his dhoti and his eyes returned often to my still-damp bathing suit. I kept my knees demurely together, calculating as I listened that I could throw him in the backwater if it came to that.

He has no electricity. All l could see inside his rental room was a tangle of damp-looking bedding.

Showkas pointed out that the grounds were neatly swept and as though on cue a village woman emerged from behind the toilet whisking with her short broom at the ground. The toilet empties as do most toilets in Kerala into the backwater. He said he would provide meals and bottled water and “everything” else a customer could want.

The house was open toward the sea and back toward the backwater and may have the best location of any resort along the coast.

Image

Beach-side entrance, Oasis Beach Resort and Restaurant

“Safe?” I asked him.

It might be adventurous, I thought, if fishermen and village boys gather there for a late drink.  I have seen empty gin and whiskey bottles close to the entrance, tidily pitched from the resort grounds. Pistachio nut shells. A single flip-flop. A discarded scooter tire.

“Very safe,” Showkas said, patting his legs and fiddling again with his dhoti. He added: “A woman by herself, alone. Safe.” He grinned.

Some young and not so young Western women use Indian resorts as Saudi Arabian men use Bangkok. They hook up with the shop boys or hangers on, the 20-year-olds with motorcycles who sit with them in the restaurants discussing the finer points of Indian culture and drumming their fingers impatiently. It’s not a secret. Showkas, reasonably enough, may think he would do as well as the boys.

*

Back on the Cliff in Varkala, the thin man at the super market with books saw me passing and rushed out with his hand outstretched.

I haven’t bought much from him, a package of cookies or two, maybe a paperback, but I have tried to be friendly, and it was paying off: he wanted to talk.

His hand stopped short of a handshake, and I found myself  holding a bundle of his soft fingers between my thumb and fingers the way one holds a still-smouldering marshmallow.

I don’t know if he was just blabbering or had read something in the paper or was making a diagnosis. He spoke very fast, one of those Indians who believes his speech improves with the accelerator to the floor. I caught a few words: “Sun very hot, very.” He laughed immoderately  and made a gesture of angry dismissal at the sun, hanging high in the blue above the orange wing of a swooping hang glider, as though to banish it from in front of his store. He pointed at his arm, shaking his head vehemently, and then at my left arm, indecently tanned. “Sun bad,” I heard him say, and he turned abruptly and disappeared inside.

*

I was reminded of the Oasis when the seven-foot man with Stephen King glasses lurched in front of me on Cliff Walk and thrust a pamphlet into my midriff. “Full body massage,” he said. “You want?”

The cliff has several allegedly Ayurvedic massage salons, and the barkers out front are often young women dressed in a white medical smock.

The tall man’s pamphlet cover featured a photo of an attractive Western woman lying prone, eyes closed, with an unexplained vertical line that looked like an immense hypodermic being thrust into her forehead.

A caption in single quotes highlighted the Ayurvedic principle from an unknown source: ‘A sound mind dwells in a sound body,’ and it was followed by a crooked paste-on advertising the local doctor, who is a B.A.M.S.M.D (AM), M.R.H.S.

I had been thinking of a full body massage. It sounds relaxing. The price varies according to the barker and the time of day and the gullibility of the passer-by, but at 60 rupees a dollar, it’s cheap. I must have looked as though I’d just gotten off the bus from Backwaterville. “Six hundred,” said the tall man, his eyes through his thick lenses the size of golf balls.

I made a sound.

“Five hundred,” he said at once. “Full hour.”

The doctor, of course, is not to be seen. The massages are given by the people handing out the pamphlets. I would be treated to a number of procedures,  it seemed, including the foot pressure approach “giving attention to the vital parts.” The pamphlet shows a middle-aged man in a dhoti standing like a gladiator with his foot on the small of a man’s back.

Or a head message. “It gives,” I quote exactly, “Mental relaxation, coolness of mind, improves. Blood circulation, promotes hair growth, prevents hair fall and premature graying.”

Another picture explained the hypodermic assault shown in the poorly cropped  cover photo.  It was not a needle but a“dripping of medicated oil horizontally over the forehead as a continuous stream from a fixed height along with a gentle massage on the forehead,” to relieve stress or insomnia or “mental tension.”

The “medicinal powder massage” is a magic treatment for: “obesity, oedema of body, reduce body fat.”  It is “a type of treatment in which herbal powder is made to massage in the opposite direction of hair follicles, so as to make this skin smooth.”

“Three hundred tops,” I said, starting negotiations, “and who gives the massage, a man or a woman?”

“I call,” he said, and pushed a button on his cell phone. “Five hundred OK,” he said with an air of having made a deep concession.

“Man or woman?” Nearby was an attractive young woman in one of the medical smocks,”  more appealing as a skin smoother than Stephen King.

“Man man, woman woman,” he said.

I told him I preferred a woman. He frowned and blinked.

“I call,” he said. He turned away from me and talked rapidly into his phone, then pocketed it and leaned close.

“Come tonight,” he said softly. “When dark.”

 

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